5) Proof reader. We’ve all seen those ads in the papers: “Re-skill as a proof reader and work from home”. Yeah, right. Spinal cord surgeons? Plumbers? Mechanics? Fuhgedabattit. What the world is really clamouring for is proof readers, haven’t you heard?
A wide range of criminals applauded Labour leader Ed Miliband’s keynote speech at Labour Party conference yesterday as he aligned himself with people “who don’t hack phones, loot shops or fiddle expenses”.
“This is the vote of confidence we’ve been looking for,” said “John”, an as yet undiscovered serial killer from Portsmouth, who saw the speech on TV.
The Time Out Guide to Berlin says: "On unfashionable corners, down certain streets, you'll run across a genre of drinking establishment known as the Eck-Kneipe -- corner pub. From the outside it can be hard to tell what's happening within. Grubby net curtains will cover the windows. Sometimes on the window ledge, like totems to ward you off, there will be a row of wooden trolls brandishing miniature swords and spears.
With just 24 minutes until his desktop publishing project was due to be transmitted to the printers, Joe Barrett took advantage of his PC’s spinning clock to sit back and enjoy a welcome period of calm yesterday afternoon.
LOONY Lambeth Council will today spend £2m on translators – for International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
The left-wing authority is SPLASHING OUT tax-payers’ cash so that teachers can understand what kids are saying.
Primary schools across the south London borough will today not only be INVADED by pre-teens speaking in the manner of 18th century seafaring robbers, but also by HORDES of cut-throat consultants and translators.