And here she is. Shovel some US dollars and an Absolut miniature into her fake Gucci handbag and she'll be happy to bring a touch of Glasnost-era glamour to any event.
The celeb lookalikes agency doesn't seem to have twigged that their client could diversify by impersonating former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond:
You could be tricky and hire her as Raisa at a cut-price rate, then simply imagine that she's Jennie Bond when she shows up! MONEY IN THE BANK.
Annnd welcome. Welcome to The Daily News' in-depth investigation of the lookalike trade in Britain today (ie where we nick a few pictures off the internet and make some puerile jokes about Bono looking more like a clinically depressed Jon Bon Jovi).
And there he is.
"'ERE, BONO, GIVE US LIVIN' ON A PRAYER, SUNSHINE."
Bono demonstrates the golden rule of the celeb lookalikes world: that you must look like the person you are impersonating, but a clinically depressed version.
At least he's a better Ben Stiller than this guy:
If you can't afford A-list hunks like Clooney or Grant, you can surely negotiate a good price on the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Wonder what his actual schtick is, once you've hired him for your hen do -- does he lead a debate on whether the issues that divide Anglicans and Roman Catholics are theological enough to justify ecclesiastical separation, or does he just cover himself in whipped cream to Love Machine?