The 62-year-old last night recanted his previous indignation at the "rock and roller cola wars", saying that the fiercely competitive ad campaigns by the two firms was "water under the bridge, as far as I'm concerned".
Joel made the startling announcement after calling a press conference at his record label, Columbia, in New York.
"When I recorded that song in '89 I was screwed up about a lot of issues, hence the references to 100 different things in that song, including hula hoops. In fact, I'm still angry about those dumb things, going round and round, wasting everyone's time. Seriously, hula hoops – what the f***?"
Joel said the so-called "rock and roller cola wars" - so named for their use of big name rock stars - now gave him merely minor discomfort.
"They did what they had to do. I'm fine with it. I hope we can move on."
He apologised for "roping Doris Day in to the song, too" but then broke down, saying he was "still pretty f***** up about Dacron", the early artificial fibre whose invention is also among the pivotal moments listed in the number.
After appearing to make a recovery, Joel then began sobbing again, telling the increasingly uncomfortable media representatives that he was not really over the 1955 death of Albert Einstein either.
"That guy was a frickin' genius," he said. "And not just the way he did his hair. I mean, MC squared? That's more than just a theory to me, it's how I live my life."
Just as the "Rock and Roller Cola Wars: A Reassessment by Billy Joel" conference appeared to have ended, Joel consulted his manager before asking reporters back into the room to add that he was "still very, very p***** off about South Pacific", describing the popular Rodgers and Hammerstein musical as "a travesty, a vile stain on this country. Happy Talk? Some Enchanted Evening? Excuse me while I go and blow my head off."
But he said he was "now pretty chilled out" about The King & I, which is also listed in the song. But he had no idea what "Belgians in the Congo was all about, unless it was about some boring couple I met on vacation once".Tweet