1) Having to endure Prince Harry and mates dressing up as “Nigerian doctors” and playing pranks on other patients.
2) Popping down to Costa for a crafty capuccino and then discovering they want something called “money”.
3) Listening to your ward neighbour prattling on about how her son does welding shifts in Hartlepool and can only visit at weekends.
4) Being called Liz by a student nurse. And then, when you explain you’re the Queen, being called “The”.
5) The moment where Prince Philip asks a foreign nurse where she’s from.
6) Fancying something to read and finding out the trolley only has Bella and the new Andy McNab.
7) The cleaner asking you what you thought of Helen Mirren’s performance in The Queen.
8) All the euphemisms you have to use when talking to docs about your gastroenteritis symptoms. Such as:
* Enjoying the banquet all over again (being sick).
* Making a state visit (going to loo).
* Corgi no.1 and corgi no.2 (wee and poo).
* Countess of Wessex (feeling a bit nauseous).
* Carole Middleton (feeling extremely nauseous).
* Letting the corgis off the lead (unexpected no.2).
* Rehearsing my Christmas Day speech 10 months early (being sick).Return from the Queen in Hospital to homepage Tweet