Royal Bank of Scotland boss Stephen Hester is to step down and "spend at least a year walking the beaches of the world, trying to get my shit together".
The man who was brought in to save the ailing institution said the next phase of life would focus less on finance and more on teaching circus skills in Bali.
The 52-year-old told a press conference he would support himself by selling "crystals and T-shirts" and that he was pleased to be leaving, as life at RBS had proved "disappointingly corporate".
"Sometimes I just wanted to say jeez mate, you've got to chill out about this. Take a legal high and watch the summer solstice. That report on restructuring our corporate finance business can wait til tomorrow. Any time before midday."
A number of top kibbutzes in Israel have expressed an interest in signing Hester, but have been unable to match his demands of a guaranteed £1.1m salary and benefits.
Hester added: "I just want to get out of this uptight country, man. You can learn so much from people from other banking cultures. I'm out of here. Just me, my rucksack, a guitar and no more than sixty thousand pounds in cash and bonds."
He exited the conference with a small group of young people who identified themselves only as Raz, Jimmy Dope and Midnight Aura.Tweet