Kelvin Chandler, 19, discovered yesterday that he can start at London South Bank University in September, whatever the outcome of his three A-levels in Threatening Neighbours, Doing A Sideways Gun Gesture Like They Do In LA and Walking Down The Street Without A Shirt On.
Chandler has been unable to walk since succumbing to the same genetic fault that claimed his mother and father three years apart.
“My dad fell off a balcony in Ibiza, then my mum did in Ayia Napa. The doctors said there was a 50/50 chance I would fall off a balcony abroad, too, but I proved them wrong. I fell off one in Eltham.
“I was paralysed from the waist down and also my right arm. I didn’t let it hold me back though – I learned to throw chips with my left arm instead.”
Now he is already planning a memorable first night at the halls of residence.
“Friends coming round, knocking on my window, knocking on other people’s windows, shouting for me, going away, coming back every now and then to demand weed and demanding to be let in. I’m going to overcome my disability and make the most of this opportunity.
“I was the first person in my family to clone a BMW key by breaking in and using the OBD port. That’s when I knew I had the power to make a better life for myself.
“My skills at sitting on a bike outside a convenience store, drinking lager, were the best the local Old Bill said they’d ever seen. And my 200m sprint from the scene of a burglary was the fastest recorded time ever in the Medway area.
“I want to give hope to other kids that they can overcome disability. Don’t let anyone steal your dream – it’s not how many times they knock you down, it’s how many times you can misspell ‘paedophile’ on a park bench.”
Many disabled yobs have found it hard to overcome their disability and get work after graduating, with many settling for low-paid jobs such as setting fire to small piles of rubbish in the road, or spray painting tags at the side of railway lines.
Chandler’s sister Jade is also hoping to go to university in a couple of years.
“One day I hope to be able to discard chicken wings on pavements full time,” she said.Tweet