An advert widely seen on the internet says that the skin specialists are in a state of fury over the cream invented by Marion Wilson, 68, of Fresno.
“I spent three years training to treat skin because I like helping people but now I spend most of my days hating a woman who has found a cure for that very condition,” said dermatologist Allen J Waxler. “The world of dermatology is rife with such ironies.”
He added: “For many years I have thought that it was the idea of making people better that has motivated me but now I see that it is in fact the goal of making money unimpeded by smartarse discoveries by the public.
"You’d think I’d be happy for the lady, who suffered from this condition for 25 years. Not by a long way.
"A bunch of us got together in a back room at the Steamin’ Bull Bar out on Highway 99, ’cos something had to be done about this freakin’ chick.
“After a few beers some of the boys wanted to go and string her up, you know, and I had to talk them out of it. I reminded them of ‘first do no harm’ and they said that only applied to doctors. I wasn’t sure who was right so I said we could compromise and just slap her non-ageing face a bit.”
Mrs Wilson has now been forced to go into hiding, with FBI protection, as more and more dermatologists begin hating her.
"I’ve bought me some attack dogs and we’re going round to eat her hatefully youthful face off,” said family dermatologist Ben Masterson, of Flagstaff, Arizona.
Meanwhile, a SWAT team was called to Elk City in Oklahoma after a crew of dermatologists believed they had closed in on another self-treating patient, Eric Kennedy, 44.
Personal trainers hate him
“It was an ugly mob, consumed with hate,” said Sheriff Carter Rix. “We called in the SWAT boys ’cos you don’t mess with dermatologists when they’re on a hater.
This week it was also alleged in internet adverts that cosmetic surgeons hate a woman from Boulder, Colorado, and that personal trainers hate a man who got a six pack in a month.
“My passion is helping people to transform their bodies for the better,” said trainer Aaron DeWitt. “But this shit just takes the biscuit.”Tweet